The Crud – the catchall diagnosis of physicians that can’t put a label on why you have a 101 fever, chills, nausea, dizziness, and bones that ache so bad you know they’d show up throbbing and red on an X-ray.
Normally followed by a..
Cocktail shot – a little of this, a little of that, a long needle, the nurse from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, exposure of the derriere region for said nurse and a jab to the aforementioned muscle that hurts like heck(!).
Rapid re-dressing while still rubbing the hurting region, the jab of a square piece of paper with an indecipherable written prescription for an unpronounceable antibiotic, a stern admonishment to rest, drink plenty of fluids and stay inside. (Yea well feeling like this who the heck is going anywhere but the bed, and bathroom?!)
All of which I laid out $75.00 for, after insurance of course. I don’t known which hurts the worse, my wallet or my body…..
Any who…. I’ll be back sometime the first of next week. After all you heard the man, rest, juice, and no meandering.
(heartfelt sigh) Just shoot me now….